Stop Fighting the Old Habit

I was introduced to W. Timothy Gallway’s best seller The Inner Game of Tennis many years ago in a Sports Psychology class, however, I’ve just now started reading it and one line recently caught my attention:

“In short, there is no need to fight old habits. Start new ones.”

It’s annoyingly simple. (Not easy)

Most of us approach behavior change by declaring war.

I HAVE to stop eating junk at night.

I HAVE to reduce my screentime.

I HAVE to stop procrastinating.

Then we spend the next several weeks constantly ruminating about the exact behavior we're trying not to do, which obviously keeps it top of mind.

That’s an exercise in futility and good way to drive ourselves nuts.

Gallwey suggests another approach.

Don't spend all your energy wrestling with the old behavior.

Give yourself something n

ew to practice.

Instead of stop scrolling at night, how about read ten pages before bed.

Instead of stop eating terribly when I'm stressed, how about meal prep before the week gets chaotic.

Instead of stop thinking about work all evening, how about take a ten-minute walk when I get home to deliberately mark the transition from workday to personal time.

The distinction matters.

One keeps our attention fixed on what we're trying to eliminate.

The other gives us an action plan leading where we want to go.

This matters especially because we can easily turn wellness into another exercise in self-criticism.

We identify everything we're doing wrong and then create a plan to stop being the person who does those things.

It's exhausting.

Not to mention unnecessary.

A new habit competes with old ones for energy and space.

Eventually you discover you didn't defeat the old habit in some heroic showdown.

You simply stopped feeding it.

Change doesn't always require a fight.

You just start practicing something that better serves you.

Then you do it again. Rinse repeat.

Instead of asking what I need to stop doing, what could I start doing instead?