Dissenting Against the Default
Recently I've been reading (and enjoying) Michael Bond's The Power of Others. It’s an incredibly well researched book about how much the people around us influence what we think, choose, and do.
We all like to imagine ourselves as independent thinkers.
Bond's message is clear:
Maybe not as independently minded as we'd like to believe.
We take cues from other people constantly.
What is normal?
What is acceptable?
What does everyone else eat?
How much does everyone else drink?
How much sleep do people get?
Is being exhausted just part of adulthood?
At some point, the behavior around us stops looking like a choice.
It becomes normal.
Normal Isn't Healthy Today
According to the CDC, 40.3% of American adults have obesity.
Add overweight to that number and 72.4% of adults fall into one of those two categories. Among children and adolescents ages 2–19, obesity prevalence has climbed from 13.9% in 1999–2000 to 21.1% in the latest measured data.
Before anyone gets upset, I understand that BMI isn't a complete measure of anyone's health, and these statistics shouldn't be used as judgments about individual people.
But as population-level signals?
It’s not a good trend and should not be ignored.
A 2022 modeling study estimated that excess weight was associated with nearly 500,000 excess deaths per year in the United States based on 2016 data.
It’s clear our default way of living isn't working.
Yet the default is powerful.
Sit most of the day.
Eat whatever is quickest.
Stay up late.
Scroll longer.
Move less.
Rest only when everything is finished.
Stay connected to work constantly.
Repeat.
None of those choices feels particularly rebellious.
That's the point.
They're normal.
Wellness Requires Dissent
If Bond is right about the power of social influence, then becoming physically and mentally well may require deliberately moving in the opposite direction of the herd.
Go to bed when everyone else is still scrolling.
Take the walk.
Lift heavy weights.
Eat food that makes you feel good afterward.
Protect an hour of your attention.
Turn off the phone.
Take your lunch break.
Say no to something.
Sit quietly for ten minutes even though doing absolutely nothing feels suspiciously unproductive.
None of this is radical.
But in today’s environment, it can feel that way.
There is social pressure in unhealthy habits too.
"Come on, have another one."
"Why are you leaving already?"
"You work out how many times a week?"
Taking care of yourself will be perceived as slightly strange.
Choose Your Crowd Carefully
The encouraging part of The Power of Others is that social influence works both ways.
Other people can pull us toward unhealthy norms.
Others can also pull us toward healthy norms if we run in the right crowds.
Spend time around people who move their bodies and moving becomes more normal.
Spend time around people who protect their attention and distraction becomes less normal.
Spend time around people who value sleep, boundaries, meaningful work, learning, and health, and those choices become easier to make.
One of the most important wellness decisions we make is deciding whose behavior we allow to define normal.
You don't need to become antisocial.
You don't need to lecture anyone.
You don't need to announce what you're doing.
Dissent is often quiet.
You can decide that just because something is common doesn't mean it’s the standard.
In a culture where exhaustion is celebrated, distraction is constant, and poor health is common, taking care of yourself requires going against the crowd.
That's okay.
The crowd isn't headed where you want to go.
CDC/NCHS — Adult Obesity Prevalence, Data Brief No. 508https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db508.htm
CDC MMWR — Childhood and Adolescent Obesityhttps://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/73/wr/mm7341a5.htm
CDC/NCHS — Childhood Obesity Health E-Stathttps://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/hestat112.htm
CDC/NCHS FastStats — Obesity and Overweighthttps://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm
eClinicalMedicine / The Lancet — Excess mortality associated with elevated body weight in the USAhttps://www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(22)00159-6/fulltext
Comments