To some individuals, self care is considered home spa days full of mani-pedis and full days off in pajamas eating ice cream in bed. Some agencies consider self care as on site pizza parties and gifted lottery tickets. Some individuals and agencies don’t consider self care at all. And some consider self care as a bad word not to be audibly uttered in the workplace. (We wouldn’t want to taint the minds of any overworked employees who may consider using their allotted PTO days or getting up from behind the keyboard to take a walking meeting outside in the sun).
With less available funds coupled with more need, the rise in stress related quitting is inevitable. Social Work Professionals simply don’t have the bandwidth to consistently give our life force away day after day, while not taking time to recharge our own batteries.
If we truly want to talk about self care and get to the bottom it, it’s imperative that we first clarify what self care is NOT. The misclassification of self care leads people to dismiss it as unnecessary, frivolous, counterproductive, and anti “hustle”.
What Self Care is NOT
Self care is not selfish. One of the most damaging yet consistent lies/myths about self care is that it’s selfish. People with this view have the zero sum mindset that prioritizing yourself means you are neglecting others. In the real world that couldn’t be further from the truth. Self care is about ensuring we have the physical, emotional, and mental capacity to show up for our clients, coworkers, family, etc...Not taking care of ourselves harms everyone in our orbit over the long term. It leads to burnout, resentment, poor work quality, and eventually abandoning our positions within our agencies.
Fellow Helping Professionals may feel guilty about taking a mental health day. They look to be tough and dedicated by pushing through exhaustion going the extra miles to support clients. In the long run however, this self-sacrifice will lead to decreased quality of work, emotional overload, detachment, and compassion fatigue. By failing to prioritize self care our colleague hems himself up doing a disservice to his client, his coworkers, and his agency as a whole.
Self care is not lazy. Another common opinion from the anti self care crowd is that it’s lazy and indulgent. Taking a break, a rest, or saying “no” to additional commitment when we’re already stretched thin is misrepresented as shirking responsibility. Rest is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of sustainability.
Proper self care is strategic energy management. Just like we balance our budgets making sure we don’t spend more than we bring in (or should balance our budget), self care makes sure we don’t expend more energy than we can afford. Taking the time to rest and top off energy tanks ensures that we can approach work, relationships, professional and personal goals with focus and verve. Our clients don’t deserve the dregs of our energy tanks. They deserve our full attention.
Self Care is not Undisciplined. Self care is sometimes seen as undisciplined, naval gazing, procrastinating, or putting off commitment to long term goals. Not true. Taking care of ourselves, in its truthful essence, requires discipline and intention. We’re not Social Work Professionals by accident, we’re drawn to helping others. And when we’re not helping others, thoughts of guilt often creep in to take over our inner chatter. We have to re frame that chatter to an inner dialogue aligning with our well being. Simple, not easy. We have to set and maintain boundaries, follow through on healthy habits, recognize and say no to our triggers. Committing to regular workouts, meal prepping, and seeking guidance are all forms of self care rooted in self discipline.
What Self Care IS
Now that we’ve clarified what self care is not, lets look at what it is. Foundationally, self care is about creating a life that supports us physically, emotionally, and mentally. Self care is a practice of nurturing ourselves in a way that allows us to thrive in all areas of life.
The Anatomy of Self Care
Self Care can be broken down into some key components
1) Physical Self Care is simply taking care of our meat vehicles. Make a point to get adequate quality sleep, adequate quality nutrition, and adequate quality exercise. Make and keep appointments for preventative care like check ups, blood work, and dental. Physical self care is the most basic and most important form of self care. We take our health for granted until we don’t have it. Everything else falls away when we get sick or weak.
2) Emotional Self Care is being aware, recognizing, and honoring our feelings and thoughts. Practices like journaling, seeking guidance, allowing ourselves space to objectively process our emotions void of judgment are all part of emotional self care. They create resilience and grit, help us maintain healthy relationships, and manage stress.
3) Mental Self Care is same as Physical Self Care. Our brain/mind is a muscle and the same rule applies; use it or lose it. Ways we can exercise our mind are to always be learning something new, engaging in hobbies, practicing mindfulness, and keeping healthy boundaries with technology. When we prioritize mental health we stay sharp. Focus, decision making, and our approach to taking on challenges remain clear.
4) Relational Self Care doesn’t get talked about often, but it’s important. Our relationships can make or break or us. Spending time with positive supportive friends and family, seeking out mentors (dead or alive), setting boundaries with, or outright ending, toxic relationships are all part. We have to ensure our connections are positive and not lacing our lives with unneeded extra drama.
5) Spiritual Self Care gives us a source of purpose and grounding. This doesn’t have to be religious if you’re not into that. Spending time in nature is a spiritual act. Meditating is spiritual. Regularly reflecting on and writing about our values can be a spiritual act. A spiritual self care practice primes and nurtures our sense of meaning and stokes inner peace.
Self care requires attention, intention, experimentation, and a willingness to adapt as needs evolve. Start small. ID one area of self care where you feel most depleted and commit to small changes. One salad a day. One 10 minute walk a day. One 5 minute meditation a day. Anything to get some momentum building.
When we prioritize self care the benefits extend well beyond ourselves. When we become more present and patient, clients coworkers and family pick up on it and mirror it. It’s not just a personal act in the world of Social Work, it’s a professional responsibility. It allows us to provide compassionate, high quality care to our clients. The Social Work universe has rewarded self sacrifice in the past and we see where that’s gotten us. Self care shouldn’t be some radical new thing. When we prioritize ourselves we reclaim energy, focus, and joy allowing us to work from a place of abundance as opposed to scarcity.
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