“Zen Guitar, “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”, “Zen and the Art of Happiness”, “Zen and the Art of Archery”, “Zen and the Art of Simple Living”, “Hardcore Zen”, “Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate”….
There’s no shortage of books touting the benefits of a mindfulness practice, and I’ve taken notice of several lately (unfortunately I just came across chocolate dipped variety researching for the screed you’re currently reading). Made me think, what is the Zen of Self Care? I’ll steal the format from “Zen and Art of Archery” and try to flesh it out. Stream of consciousness to follow...
Self care is too often seen as a to-do list of activities – gym, check; meditate, check; whole food, check; - but really, it’s more than that. Sure it’s great to have a self care routine, but what’s even better is when we learn to internalize it and make it an art form. Our own art form. Just like Zen Archery isn’t about hitting the bullseye but about the way of the bow, self care isn’t just about checking off a list of actions we know we should do, it’s about a way of being. It’s about how we carry ourselves and the vibes we put off for others to pick up on and feel good about. It’s a practice of balance, flow, and self mastery.
Our first steps on the journey of self care are often focused on techniques like breathing, exercise, journaling, and setting clear boundaries. These are all important and very much part of the process. But they are just the beginning. The magic isn’t in the techniques themselves but how we engage and change with them.
Take meditation for example, it’s not about JUST sitting still for 10 minutes, although that’s a good start and harder than it seems. It’s about being fully present in each moment of those 10 minutes. Eating well isn’t JUST about nutrition, it’s about honoring our body, those who love us, and those who depend on us. The lesson is to be present with whatever we’re doing. It’s not a task or a chore. It’s an experience and a way of life. It’s flourishing.
In Zen Archery, students learn that forcing the shot disrupts nature's rhythm. The arrow must “release itself” and whatever happens after that is out of the shooter’s control. Same deal, we can’t force relaxation on ourselves. We can’t force joy.
The ultimate in self care happens when we surrender to what is needed in the moment. If your workout calls for 5 sets of 5 heavy deadlifts, but your back tweaks a little bit during the 1st pull, self care is obviously not pushing through and risking injury. We have to listen to our body and mind and not be rigid with our routines. If you’re back is dinged up, self care that day might turn into a mobility and sauna day. The practice isn’t about perfection, it’s about flow and responding with awareness.
As we live in awareness over time, self care evolves beyond singular tasks or actions and becomes a way of being. It’s not about scheduling breaks at that point, it’s about living in a state of self respect, self honor, and self compassion. The Zen of Self Care becomes an embodiment. A philosophy we live every day.
The shift occurs when internalize self care as essential. Not optional. Not superfluous. Not extra credit. It’s the realization we cannot pour from an empty cup. That by caring for, and honoring ourselves, we honor others and allow ourselves to fully show up for them. It’s a fluid practice of patience, presence and balance.
Just like Zen Archers strive for self mastery, Zen Self Care requires dedication and practice. It’s not about achieving a perfect routine, although that’s nice and it helps in the beginning. It’s about deepening our awareness and self connection. When self care becomes our way of being, we move throughout life with greater ease, flow, resilience, and joy.
Exactly like the arrow released effortlessly “by surprise” from the bow, true self care isn’t something we can force. It’s something we allow.
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