Gratifications > Pleasures

In ordinary English, we do not distinguish between “gratifications” and “pleasures”. This is truly a shame, because it muddles together two different classes of the best things in life, and it deceives us into thinking they can each be had in the same way. We casually say that we like caviar, a back rub, or the sound of rain on a tin roof (all pleasures) as well as as saying that we like playing volleyball, reading Dylan Thomas, and helping the homeless (all gratifications). “Like” is the operative confusion. The word's primary meaning in all these cases is that we choose to do these things over may other possibilities. Because we use the same word, we are inclined to look around for the same source of the liking, and we slip into saying “Caviar gives me pleasure” and “Dylan Thomas gives me pleasure,” as if the same positive emotion existed underneath both of our choosing

When I press people about the existence of that underlying positive emotion, I find one underneath the pleasure: great food, a back rub, perfume, or a hot shower all produce the raw feels of pleasure I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter. In contrast, when I press people about the positive emotion of pleasure we allegedly feel when we serve coffee to the homeless, or reading Andrea Barrett, or playing bridge or rock climbing, it is quite elusive. Some people can find a discrete emotion (“curling up on the couch with a book made me feel cozy all over”), but most cannot. It is the total absorption, the suspension of consciousness, and the flow that the gratifications produce that defines these activities-not the presence of pleasure. Total immersion, in fact, blocks consciousness, and emotions are completely absent.

- Authentic Happiness Martin Seligman

Social work is undeniably rewarding and infamously demanding. When we think about self care, social workers are all too often encouraged to prioritize pleasurable activities: relishing a delicious meal, scheduling a relaxing massage, or relaxing with soothing music. While these pleasures do indeed provide us relief, the great Martin Seligman has studied and urges us to consider a deeper, more enduring form of self-care: gratifications that create a sense of "flow." Gratifications > Pleasures.

Seligman clearly distinguishes between "pleasures" and "gratifications" in his book Authentic Happiness quoted at length above.

Pleasures produce immediate, sensory-driven positive emotions. They are wonderful but fleeting. Gratifications, on the other hand, engage us deeply, absorbing our attention completely and allowing us to enter a state of flow. Flow is the key. Flow state, identified by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is characterized by all consuming involvement and the complete immersion in an activity. So much so that we lose awareness of time and self-consciousness. Our inner chatter is completely eliminated when we’re in a flow state. The loose change is not rattling.

In our universe of being a Helping Professional, finding flow at work could mean becoming deeply engaged in a meaningful client session, total focus during some advocacy work, or becoming fully integrated while designing community interventions. Unlike simple pleasures, these gratifying tasks may not always feel "fun" or even “pleasurable” in a conventional sense. Instead, they captivate and fulfill us by allowing our skills and strengths to align perfectly with the challenges presented. This alignment is the hallmark of flow and it creates an intrinsic satisfaction that reinforces resilience counteracting stress and burnout.

Finding flow at work is great, but equally important is finding flow outside the workplace. Far too many social workers feel so drained by the end of the day that the temptation to rely solely on passive pleasures (watching television, mindlessly scrolling social media) is potent. Yet, engaging in activities that promote flow significantly enhances emotional and psychological recovery and are far superior ways to spend time after our social work duties are completed. Even a brief stretch spent in flow is more beneficial than passive “relaxing”.

Gardening, reading challenging literature, playing a musical instrument, painting, yoga, or engaging in thoughtful volunteer work in a different context are deeply gratifying because these activities require focused attention, provide clear goals and immediate feedback, and typically involve a sense of personal mastery and/or skill-building. While initially it might seem counterintuitive to expend more effort after an exhausting day, the immersive quality of flow-inducing activities revitalizes rather than drains. These activities enable genuine detachment from daily stressors and produce fuller mental and emotional recovery.

As Social Work Professionals, we should be intentional about identifying and integrating flow into our daily routine, both professionally and personally. Reflecting on tasks or hobbies that naturally capture our interest and challenge us without overwhelm will guide us toward deeper self-care. Seligman’s research demonstrates that this deliberate pursuit of gratifications not only enriches our lives but strengthens our capacity to serve others.

By recognizing the distinct difference between pleasures and gratifications, we will build robust self-care routines. Flow activities, both at work and after hours, cultivate lasting resilience, making us better equipped to support those we serve while fostering genuine, sustained happiness in our own lives.